We begin this article with an example from a 2025 series that explores various topics related to the queer community, particularly gay and bisexual men – Heated Rivalry (spoiler alert).
In the series, through Scott and Kip, we can observe the impact that hiding one’s sexual orientation has on the lives of LGBTQIA+ people. When these characters begin their relationship, Kip is openly gay and lives his life without hiding it, whereas Scott has not come out and does not plan to do so any time soon because he fears losing his career and the people in his life. As a result, they only live out their relationship dynamic in Scott’s home.
Throughout the episode, we see Kip living in Scott’s flat and becoming increasingly isolated, having to lie to his father about where he is (because he cannot reveal who he is dating), spending less time with the people he cares about, and being unable to be with Scott in public spaces (even while pretending they are not a couple), as though it were a representation of everything that the “closet” takes away from us.
What do Kip and Scott teach us about the impact that hiding one’s sexual orientation has on the mental health of LGBTQIA+ people?
The series offers us a representation of the “closet”: it gives us a sense of isolation, worry, dishonesty and even a degree of darkness. This image is by no means far from reality.
With regard to mental health, LGBTQIA+ people who feel they have to hide part of themselves may experience:
· A reduced sense of belonging and authenticity, which may lead to increased psychological distress;
· Issues related to self-criticism;
· Hypervigilance and monitoring;
· Cognitive worry and rumination;
· Among others.
These concerns and stressors that are specific to the LGBTQIA+ community (e.g., expectations of stigma, identity concealment) are known as minority stress. In this sense, prolonged time in the “closet” can therefore be described as a long-lasting form of stress linked to structural contexts of oppression, with long-term effects on mental health. And when we do not “come out of it”, we are ignoring an important stage in identity development and in accepting the self as a whole.
And what can support an LGBTQIA+ person in accepting their sexual orientation and reducing the need to hide part of themselves?
In the case of Heated Rivalry, Scott Hunter is afraid to go through the coming out process mainly because he fears losing his team, where his friends are and of which he has been a part for many years – they are the family he has left.
The social network we build is extremely valuable, and having its support in matters that make us more vulnerable is naturally important. Therefore, this process of leaving the closet behind is easier and more comfortable when there is a sense of safety and support from the people who matter to the person going through it.
As family members and friends, we can make it clear that we accept and support the LGBTQIA+ community and its rights through different actions in our daily lives:
· Through conversations about the topic;
· Showing openness and genuine curiosity when people talk to us about the community;
· Attending marches and community events that support the community;
· Learning more about the topic;
· Consuming entertainment content that includes LGBTQIA+ themes;
· Being available to be chosen family – should the person be rejected by their family of origin;
· Among others.
As a person seeking to build a support network and gain the strength to go through the “coming out” process, it may be important to:
· Understand whom you would like to trust with this information in the first instance;
· Consider whether there is someone you can turn to in the event of rejection;
· Consider whether it would be possible to begin a process of psychological support, to help with identity development, the coming out process, anxiety or depression. This psychological support process should respond to the needs identified, so professionals should be chosen who feel comfortable addressing these topics! At Ivory Therapy, there are people who are as much psychologists as they are responsible and kind, and who are available to provide these services.
What can we take away from this article?
The LGBTQIA+ community faces very specific obstacles and stressors that have a significant impact on mental health (e.g., anxiety, isolation, depression), as we can see in the series Heated Rivalry through Scott and Kip.
In the series, Kip has friends who support him and advocate for his interests, whereas Scott appears more isolated, partly because he believes he will be completely rejected by his team if he comes out as gay. They therefore represent two parts of the same process.
As people who care about those around us, we should normalize the existence of individuals beyond heteronormativity, and we can participate in community spaces, speak and listen with curiosity and genuine interest regarding topics related to the community, and commit ourselves to contributing to the protection of the people we care about – which may include suggesting to contact Psychology professionals (such as those at Ivory Therapy) for more specialized and technical support.
Finally, it is worth remembering that love is love – and that the only thing more powerful than hate is love.